


Thicker Than Water (As It Falls)

by cheese



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Cutting, Light Masochism, M/M, Past Drug Use, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Snuff, Suicide, Voyeurism, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, brief cock & ball torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:57:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheese/pseuds/cheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin would give anything to make sure his mother was taken care of, and with the amount he's given by a stranger online, he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thicker Than Water (As It Falls)

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for summer pornathon 2013, challenge six: light and dark.

The thing was, if you’d asked Merlin how he thought he would go, passed out in a ditch and overdosed would have been the top of the list (coke had let him go, but magic was his drug), followed closely by old age (like his uncle Gaius), and a freak accident (being best friends with Will and Gwaine). 

Definitely not this. 

But he couldn’t deny the way his body thrummed with the energy as the blood flowed from the shallow cuts all over his body to pool at his feet. He loved the way the red streaked across his pale skin, almost as much as he loved the way the pain enhanced everything around him. 

Or maybe it was the drugs.

Destiny was funny that way sometimes. 

He’d gotten on webcam only an hour ago, after confirming the payment from DragonKnight went through, paying off his mother’s debt and securing her safety for the rest of her life. In exchange for _anything_ (really: everything).

In that hour, he’d gotten naked, just as expected, then prepped himself and slipped on a cockring before stroking himself to hardness. And waiting. 

On his end, DragonKnight was nothing more than an authoritative voice coming at him through the speakers, simple commands, no heavy breathing, no moans or gasps, even as Merlin pulled out all the stops. But DragonKnight was probably just not getting what he needed.

That’s when he upped the ante, when his requests began to make more sense in light of all the money he’d sent Merlin. The knife, the shaving razor, the nails, the needles were all listed with the calmness of a bingo announcer, revealing nothing. But Merlin knew better. 

He knew where this was going. He knew what “anything” meant. 

The first slice across the back of his hand was too shallow, leaving only a red stripe on the skin. 

“Again,” DragonKnight had said, finally betraying a hint of emotion, and it spurred Merlin on, made his cock leak, his body tremble in anticipation as he made one swift movement across his skin. The blood appeared slowly, then spread across his skin as he pulled it apart, tightening his hand into a fist.

“Show me,” had come from the speakers, making Merlin startle out of his reverie, surprised how affected he was. He brought his hand up to the webcam, opening and closing his fist, making the blood spread and trickle down the sides. 

“More,” was all that DragonKnight had said, though Merlin could now hear shuffling, imagined a man much like the hot blond who frequented the coffee shop where he worked moving, pulling open his trousers, maybe stroking himself, all because of Merlin. 

Merlin lifted up the knife and sliced once, twice more across the back of his forearm, knowing it wasn’t where the big veins were, but loving the way it felt, the sting, the pain. He had to close his eyes, cross his legs, stop himself from humping up into empty air as the pain began to overwhelm him in its complete lack of purpose for Merlin, debasing him down to being an object for DragonKnight. 

He loved it.

With the blood dripping down his arm, Merlin got braver, his next slice coming across his chest, then his abs, one just above his collar bones. He couldn’t help the moan that fell from his lips as his head swam in the pain-pleasure.

Merlin switched to the razor for his other arm, watching the multiple lines appear in a criss-cross pattern. At this point, DragonKnight appeared to love everything Merlin did, quick, quiet _yes_ es coming from him every time Merlin made an especially deep cut. 

When he pierced his nipples with the large sewing needles (a pain so intense Merlin wondered if maybe he’d pass out before it was over), he ordered Merlin to touch himself. Merlin did, but only with one hand, the other still marking his body, wherever he could: just below his pelvic bone, on his thighs; blood loss or arousal making Merlin’s head spin. 

He didn’t stop; he stroked his cock hard and fast, the blood a surprisingly good lube. He moaned and swore, until words, like every cut were irrelevant, blurring into one, into his submission for this stranger, and into the peace of knowing his mother would be okay, into knowing it would end soon. And he was so close. He sliced across his balls and yes, there, _yes_!

When Merlin came, he heard, “Beautiful” through the speakers, and everything went black.


End file.
